Episode 26: Saying Yes When You Actually Mean No

Free Guides:

Examine your Thoughts

Who Are You, Really? 12 Prompts to Create Self-Awareness

Thoughts That Build Resilience

Weekly Time Blocking Planner

Boundary Setting Cheat-Sheet

Understanding Imposter Syndrome


Connect with the hosts:

Madel Mazzella:
Instagram: ⁠@madelmazzella
TikTok: ⁠@madelmazzella⁠
Website: madelmazzella.com

Kaitlyn Rapai:
Instagram: @the_teacher_burnout_coach
TikTok: ⁠@kaitlyn_rapai_coaching⁠


Show Notes

  • One of the main reasons why we say yes when we mean to say no is we want to please others and we want them to have a good opinion of us. 
  • We don’t want to make the other person mad at us or disappointed in us.
    • We want to be accepted.
  • All the reasons have to do with our conditioning:
    • We feel guilty or obligated to do so
    • You want people to think you’re a nice person
  • Wanting others to think you’re nice is a bit insidious.
    • We’re not being our true self.
    • You’re being the exact opposite of nice to yourself when you don’t do right by you.
    • And, you lose.
      • You lose your sense of self, and worth.
      • You lose yourself in wanting to please others.
  • The road back to ourselves begins when we acknowledge what we truly want.
    • Even if it means disappointing others.
    • Others can handle disappointment.
      • It’s not our task to avoid it for them.
    • From: Jorge Perez Campos: “We need to learn to allow others to judge us, laugh at us, think they know who we really are, give us side eye, distance themselves from us, exclude or reject us”
  • If we observe that these things happen anyway and nothing happens to us, we keep on breathing, and keep on living. Then that idea that we have that we must please starts to die little by little. And we become a little more empowered each time we just allow the world to be.

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Original Music by: Matthew Dotson

Cover Art by: Nate Rapai

[Disclaimer: Any views or opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the hosts and guests and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of any educational institutions or organizations. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. The hosts are not licensed therapists and their opinion does not substitute the advice of a physician or other qualified professional]